In this week’s Love Diversified our unlucky writer ends up on the most hopeless of dates

My friend, Richard and I had been travelling together for a while, and yes we love each other but it was time for a little break after a week driving and walking around rural Europe.

Having only socialised with Airbnb hosts, apart from a short encounter with a deer in the road (quick swerve), we arrived in a big city – but one where we didn’t know anyone else.

So we did the normal thing, rocked up to a bar to try and meet some people.

No wait, that’s not what we did, its 2017 after all, right? What we actually did was whip out our friends Grindr and Tinder for a quick scroll’n’swipe.

Richard found himself someone working in the tourism industry, who just happened to be from Ukraine. He seemed nice, was handsome, and had the added benefit of perhaps being able to advise us on what not to miss on our holiday. They arranged to meet for a walk on the canal.

Taking to Tinder, I got chatting with Maya, a really cute, friendly girl who’d grown up locally. I told her I was just visiting and she didn’t hesitate to ask me out for that night. Coming from a place where scheduling and Saturday nights are sacred, I was surprised but pleased nonetheless.

Maya and I met in part of the city that I hadn’t seen before, and she showed me around. We got a beer and talked non-stop, she was even prettier in person and I thought we had a good chemistry.

A couple of hours passed by and Richard called me to let me know he and Fred had parted ways, amicably but unromantically. I asked my date if it was cool for him to join us and she was more than happy.

Strangely enough, perhaps a story for another time, Richard has joined me on quite a few first dates, so it didn’t really bother me when he arrived. I carried on with my charm offensive and at this point was pretty sure that Maya was into me.

At the time Richard was fixated on an unrequited romance so it didn’t take him long to take the conversation in the direction of love.

“What about you, Sabha? Do you have a boyfriend?” Maya turned to me waiting for an answer.

“Ermmmmm no? Do you??” I’m half confused and half expecting an “Obvs no” joke.

“Yeah, I do, he lives in Malawi though.”

My friend and I exchange looks. How had I ended up on a date with a straight woman??? We dug a little more. No, it was not open. Nope, she was not bi.

I went to get another beer.

When I got back Richard had made the most of the situation and the two of them were gushing about how seas and land parted them from their lovers.

A little while later we said goodbye to our host and went off to continue our night. Maya and I agreed to keep in touch. Richard and I said WTF a lot.

I’d love to call this an isolated incident but I’ve seen countless women looking for men (in that they’ve written “I’m looking for a [tall/kind/blonde] man” on their Tinder profiles) who have still gone to the trouble of matching with me.

It makes me feel like they’re just kind of snooping on the bi and lesbian women around them to be honest. So if you’re curious or, you’re just looking for mates, maybe bring up your boyfriend before the date, yeah?

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