Sajid Javid: the Prime Minister who deported himself

Our time-travelling correspondent Raf reports from late 2019, where after the fall from grace of Theresa May following a disastrous Brexit, he interviews new Conservative party leader and Prime Minister Sajid Javid I sat down with Prime Minster Sajid Javid over some Nando’s Lemon and Herb chicken and a side order of coconut water to discuss… Read More

#YouAintNoMuslimBruv is a multi-cultural, multi-ethnic Twitter drag of all those who would divide us

by Rafik Ayaz All radio phone-ins after something ISIS-related: Caller 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5: “Why aren’t Muslims calling in and condemning ISIS?” Me: “Give us a chance, the producer said I’m in a long queue behind callers all demanding to know why no Muslims are condemning ISIS.” So let me as a Muslim pre-emptively… Read More

Do you feel safer from Daesh (ISIS, ISIL, IS) now?

by Raf   Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he heard a Syrian refugee had moved in at number 32. I jest of course; we just solved the Syrian refugee crisis by naming them collateral damage and voting in Parliament to precision bomb them before they even reach Calais. Yes, Britain awakes to the… Read More

Muslims, Muggles and The Sun’s Overactive Imagination

by Raf This week The Sun told us that according to a poll they (The Sun) commissioned, those “bacon-shunning, Christmas-hating, poppy-debating, shamelessly different-looking” Muslims love themselves some Jihad. Case closed, or in movie parlance, fades to black flag with squiggly white italic. Except that’s not what the polling showed, as a myriad of rebuttals came… Read More