Muslims, Muggles and The Sun’s Overactive Imagination

by Raf

This week The Sun told us that according to a poll they (The Sun) commissioned, those “bacon-shunning, Christmas-hating, poppy-debating, shamelessly different-looking” Muslims love themselves some Jihad. Case closed, or in movie parlance, fades to black flag with squiggly white italic. Except that’s not what the polling showed, as a myriad of rebuttals came to show.

But let us not dwell on The Sun’s front cover and how disingenuous it was. Let’s not even focus on how Sadiq Khan MP (the M in MP obviously standing for Muslim) attached himself to this piece and has become mute in its aftermath. Instead let us turn our focus to how Caliphate-loving Muslims in our midst are faring in the UK and how Sun front covers, Paris attacks and ISIS factor into their daily lives.

Muslims and muggles live in a super broadband-connected global village. This means Steve the Patriot, drunk with righteous anger from a binge session of 24hr cable news coverage with no chill, can assault a visibly British Muslim woman in Manchester, for a terrorist act that happened far away in Paris and feel justified. Pedants in the comments section will no doubt say, ‘but the media are only reporting on what is happening’. Well, you are only partially right, and let me explain why.

If we never see what is not being beamed into our 4G connected global village (that suspiciously only acknowledges America and Europe), then we’re unlikely to know about terrorist atrocities in places like Beirut and Baghdad that are committed by ISIS and affect mostly Muslims. One can speculate that if such blanket coverage and analysis existed in our Media in the same way post MENA attacks as they did post Paris, Steve the Patriot would be less prone to violent outbursts of patriotism on local transport, because he would know terrorist groups like ISIS kill many more Muslims than they do non-Muslims.

When it comes to fighting ISIS we are truly in this together. Not by wearing a poppy that pulsates a red glow of patriotism making any Muslim in its vicinity hum Rule Britannia. Not even because Abdul is on a 50-city tour of the UK condemning ISIS. No, what unites us against a death cult like ISIS is the very real fear of death. Because you see, ISIS is far from being 7th century medieval in their killing. They are the embodiment of a 21st century post racial and religiously fluid world. They will kill anyone who is not themselves and on occasion they’ll even quite happily kill themselves; they truly are equal opportunity death dealers. We let terror win if we propagate the same narrative as ISIS, who openly claim they are trying to destroy The Gray Zone by driving a wedge between Steve the Patriot, Abdul the apologiser and Muslim women everywhere going about their daily routines.

Because let us be honest, visibly Muslim women are facing the biggest impact from Islamophobic attacks . How do I know this? Well, police statistics on attacks, and my own experience of being a 6ft 2inch Muslim man who doesn’t particularly look like Jihadi John, and who surprisingly has never suffered an Islamophobic attack. Maybe it’s because in EDL parlance, I can pass myself off as a Taqiyah merchant and as such have little or no fear in my daily commute to work. But I in my Taqiyah stealth mode have noticed a distinct rise in animosity towards visible Muslims, be it on the streets, on public transport or, as one heavily pregnant niqabi related to me, on mundane shopping trips to Tesco to stock up on ice cream.

There are those who would argue that London where I live is the safest city in the world; what they neglect to clarify is, only if you look like Andrew Neil, spout French names including that of a French Nazi sympathiser to anyone who remotely looks like a Muslim (apologies to the Sikh community). Met Police report there has been a 70% rise in Islamophobic attacks in our capital especially on veiled Muslim women this month. This is even more galling, as we gear up for a Star Wars frenzy in the coming weeks when groups of mostly virgin males will converge on our nations cinemas dressed in Black Darth Vader suits unmolested. Yet women wearing a cloth covering their hair and/or face attract increasing vitriol from a section of society hell-bent on protecting us from the horrors of their own overworked imagination.

You would think any rise in street level crime specifically targeting a particular minority would draw appropriate condemnation from the Media and politicians alike. But you would be wrong, and let me tell you why. Bigots or, as I like to call them, “Douglas Murrays” push this weird cult-like narrative of clash of civilisations, Muslim baby demographic time bomb , Islamophobia, ugh Muslims and their victim narrative mind-set. We even have so-called serious journalists churn out this guff in our media with rarely any critical challenge.

So it’s left to alternative media to counter this “clash of civilisations” nonsense peddled. But you see, not enough people consume alternative media in the way they do The Sun’s front cover, so Steve the Patriot stays angry at Muslim lady on the bus. But I’m an optimist at heart, if there’s been a 70% rise in Islamophobic attacks this year in the capital alone then that’s a lot of people to tell individually that they’re making it up, don’t you think Andrew Gilligan? Maybe the victims of these Islamophobic attacks (which always rise in the aftermath of a terrorist attack, and certainly have since Paris), can drown out the bigots in our right wing press. One voice in unison, reciting their victim impact statements to the staff of The Telegraph or Daily Mail.

In conclusion: we Brits are all in this together, Muslim and non-Muslim, on a rubber dinghy riding the rapids while hurtling towards a totalitarian state in the UK, because we don’t want ISIS to impose their totalitarian fascist state in the UK. So this truism being elucidated by me – you really don’t need to ask British Muslims to condemn ISIS. We are already worried about terrorist acts on civilians and the inevitable wave of Islamophobic backlash that follows straight after. We are also worried about how our country Britain is becoming more intolerant – more and more like the self-named Islamic State or Daesh.

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Raf is a Single Vegetarian Muslim who does current affairs with jokes. Follow him on Twitter @1Rafz

 

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Categories: Humour, Islamophobia, Media, Rafik Ayaz

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