Labour’s empty rhetoric arms race with the Tories on immigration

by Raf Post-Brexit the pound is worth less than a Jimmy Savile autograph, so we are going to need those gold-hoarding immigrants in Birmingham to stay and float the UK economy. But rather than arguing for a coherent immigration policy, one not based on fear and misinformation, the Labour PLP are having the kind of… Read More

Brexit Britain: how did we get here? Ask the toxic blonde, the Dickensian nightmare, or the would-be fascist

by Raf  Bloody proud of you UK. Especially now that Vote Leave has raptured away all the foreigners, the pound is officially worth less than a signed Rolf Harris painting; and it’s cheaper to drive your car to France than to have it cleaned. Best of all, the 1980s-style in-your-face racism encountered after the referendum… Read More

The thirty day challenge: rebranding Ramadan in a world of white fear

by Raf  Russell Brand is an ambidextrous sex spider whose tentacles rile feckless politicians and tax dodging press barons alike; a Colchester Wordsworth who snares devotees in a verbose web of infinite possibilities of how life should be. He is a 21st Century composite of bits from the Age of Aquarius, a Che-Lava lamp in… Read More

We need an inquiry into the Conservative Party’s racism

by Raf  The Conservative Party is riddled with racism in the same way coffee shops in Hoxton are swarming with hipsters trying to come up with an ironic name for their start-ups. There is, in my opinion, a racist streak the size of Boris Johnson’s backside running through the party. What it needs is an… Read More

Why is everyone angry at the NUS?

by Raf  One of the worst things about being a student today is not just the crippling student debt. It’s being told by someone who has more grey hairs than you’ve accumulated birthdays that you are doing student life, and specifically student politics, wrong. Everyone knows student politics only makes sense on heavily subsidised beer at… Read More

The Poll Dance of #WhatBritishMuslimsReallyThink

by Raf  Muslims are isolating themselves in ‘Muslim Ghettos’ the way David Cameron’s Dad isolates his family’s wealth in a secretive tax haven. They are rabidly homophobic, Facebook friends with ISIS, and generally want to impose a tax on non-Muslims entering their Halal curry houses in Old Blighty. Who has concluded this? Trevor Phillips –… Read More

ISIS doesn’t care if your name is Tom, Fleur or Mohammed

by Raf  Please don’t let this act of terrorism be ISIS related, please don’t let the perpetrators turn out to be Muslim. I hope my visibly Muslim mother is okay using public transport in London today. Should I tell her to forego work? She can’t not go though, vulnerable people rely on her to provide… Read More

London Has Fallen: Sadiq Khan’s First 100 Days as Mayor

by Raf  As I travelled at high speed through Zone 1 on the Jubilee Line in the greatest city in the world a nascent thought germinated: cancer has taken Bowie and Lemmy, but it didn’t kill Jimmy Savile, which in anyone’s book is reason enough to declare a long and costly war on cancer. Yet… Read More

It’s all “One Ummah” Until a Black Muslim is Murdered

by Raf  It’s all “One Ummah” until a black Muslim is murdered, then in the main, it’s caveats for solidarity and tumbleweed from Muslims who are not Black. Why is it that we as non-black Muslims are noticeably muted in our response to the murder of Black Muslims, but will tell anyone who will listen… Read More