Why I’m Fundraising For A Tank for #Ukraine At My Local Mosque

Our resident satirist, Uncle Raf turns serious This week as a Brown British Muslim, I’ve been so moved by the commentariat class and assorted journalists who have dropped links on their social media about funding stinger missiles for Ukrainian resistance fighters, that I’ve decided to fundraise for a M1 Abrams tank. During Friday prayers this… Read More

Trojan Horse: A failure of British journalism

Long time contributor Raf ponders the media response to the Trojan Horse Affair New York Times podcast and once again finds British journalism standards to be lacking The Trojan Hoax podcast is giving me farce, high drama, soap opera and comedy characters on a par with Four Lions the film by Chris Morris. It has… Read More

Sajid Javid: the Prime Minister who deported himself

Our time-travelling reporter Raf reports from late 2019, where after the fall from grace of Theresa May following a disastrous Brexit, he interviews new Conservative party leader and Prime Minister Sajid Javid I sit down with Prime Minster Sajid Javid over some Nando’s Lemon and Herb chicken and a side order of coconut water to discuss… Read More

Labour’s empty rhetoric arms race with the Tories on immigration

by Raf Post-Brexit the pound is worth less than a Jimmy Savile autograph, so we are going to need those gold-hoarding immigrants in Birmingham to stay and float the UK economy. But rather than arguing for a coherent immigration policy, one not based on fear and misinformation, the Labour PLP are having the kind of… Read More

Brexit Britain: how did we get here? Ask the toxic blonde, the Dickensian nightmare, or the would-be fascist

by Raf  Bloody proud of you UK. Especially now that Vote Leave has raptured away all the foreigners, the pound is officially worth less than a signed Rolf Harris painting; and it’s cheaper to drive your car to France than to have it cleaned. Best of all, the 1980s-style in-your-face racism encountered after the referendum… Read More

The thirty day challenge: rebranding Ramadan in a world of white fear

by Raf  Russell Brand is an ambidextrous sex spider whose tentacles rile feckless politicians and tax dodging press barons alike; a Colchester Wordsworth who snares devotees in a verbose web of infinite possibilities of how life should be. He is a 21st Century composite of bits from the Age of Aquarius, a Che-Lava lamp in… Read More

We need an inquiry into the Conservative Party’s racism

by Raf  The Conservative Party is riddled with racism in the same way coffee shops in Hoxton are swarming with hipsters trying to come up with an ironic name for their start-ups. There is, in my opinion, a racist streak the size of Boris Johnson’s backside running through the party. What it needs is an… Read More

Why is everyone angry at the NUS?

by Raf  One of the worst things about being a student today is not just the crippling student debt. It’s being told by someone who has more grey hairs than you’ve accumulated birthdays that you are doing student life, and specifically student politics, wrong. Everyone knows student politics only makes sense on heavily subsidised beer at… Read More