Our resident satirist, Uncle Raf turns serious

This week as a Brown British Muslim, I’ve been so moved by the commentariat class and assorted journalists who have dropped links on their social media about funding stinger missiles for Ukrainian resistance fighters, that I’ve decided to fundraise for a M1 Abrams tank. During Friday prayers this wee I will be fundraising for the brave mujahedeen of Ukraine. Because I, like everyone else, saw veteran war correspondents embedded in the Kyiv Hilton tell viewers back home in Blighty, that the unfolding white on white crimes against humanity are unparalleled in their barbarity. Ostensibly because it was being waged on a white European civilization.

I watched in tears as one after the other veteran war reporters could barely keep it together whilst they described Ukrainians fleeing the war. This is not like the Black and Brown people fleeing other wars; these people are white, thus indistinguishable from them and therefore by extension it could be them next.

I, like everyone else was moved by the oration of these brave veteran correspondents who had seen it all in the Middle East, Africa and other parts of the Global South as they told their viewers that “these are not like Syrians or Eritreans”, fleeing a war zone, to be viewed with suspicion. They are White Ukrainians, people like them who live, love, and laugh. Having their homes destroyed by Russian colonisers? The horror. White Europeans have had a frightening week, a sobering realisation that this doesn’t just happen to Blacks, Browns and people who make up the GRT communities across Europe.

Those of us who could be described as cockroaches and dismissed in a Katie Hopkins article have to extend solidarity. White Europeans fleeing persecution must take precedence over others fleeing a war zone, yes even if it means as a Black or Brown person fleeing Ukraine you have to stay and let the White Ukrainians flee first from the Russian invasion.

But it’s going to take the entirety of the Ummah to help, yes that includes those who have been called fighting age combatants (6-70) when fleeing war torn regions. Those who have been denied a visa to be with their loved ones in the UK “because we are full”. Those smeared as economic migrants, fifth columnists, undercover agents of ISIS and of course as mentioned earlier those who look like cockroaches. We MUST help the white Europeans fleeing war. M1 Abrams tanks aren’t cheap, it will require more than one fundraising effort after a Friday prayer.

Now some amongst the Ummah might be hesitant. Not because those fleeing from Ukraine don’t look like you, but because the war on terror Prevent Channel, that smears and jails those who give financial aid to people who are fighting a state the UK has not yet declared war on Russia. But trust me, new rules have dropped. It’s fine in the context of Ukraine. In fact we have the inspiring sight of journalists and commentariat calling for volunteers to fight Russian forces within Ukraine. Now that Molotov cocktails are good again, maybe Palestinians too can post on YouTube, “How to build a successful Molotov cocktail” and optimum conditions to deploy them. I think if you asked the Palestinians nicely they’d probably share more tips on how to resist an occupying force with superior air and ground forces.

Whisper it, guerrilla resistance fighters are cool again! I’m just waiting for someone at The Guardian to publish an article on how to construct an IED in the Lifestyle section. Muslims in Afghanistan all too well know Soviet Union invasion and aggression. Maybe we can recruit them to be on the ground in Ukraine. We can call it interfaith outreach between Muslims and Christian Ukrainians but instead of praying , we’ll take lessons on why DOES that rocket come out from the RPG?

From Somalia to Yemen and the river to the sea they can share tips on how Ukrainians can avoid having their wedding party or EDM concerts being blown up.

What about the rest of British society? How can they contribute to the war effort against Russia and Putin? Well in the past week a bunch of guys with Ukrainian flags in their twitter handles have said that Putin only invaded Ukraine, because there was a critical mass of gender neutral toilets in the UK. So one solution to halt further Russian advances into Eastern Europe could be to shutdown every substack with gender critical in their bio.

If Putin does want to expand his sphere of Russian influence he will do so blind. We must also clampdown on anyone in the UK, looking at you Zarah Sultana who wants to stop the ongoing war in Ukraine and bring both parties to the negotiating table to hash out a treaty that both sides can live with.

The UK based NATO criticisers are just useful idiots for Putin and his murderous regime.

At the same time we must give material aid to those Russians who are protesting to Stop the War in Ukraine by imposing far reaching sanctions that will do nothing to Putin and his cronies but will unfairly impact that part of Russian society that neither have sway or truck with Putin.

And finally we must petition our MPs and councillors to open up our borders to anyone fleeing from Ukraine from the ongoing aggression by Russia without petty bureaucracy and Daily Mail columnist missive about Brexit means Brexit and it’s Poland’s problem anyway.

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