Bloody proud of you UK. Especially now that Vote Leave has raptured away all the foreigners, the pound is officially worth less than a signed Rolf Harris painting; and it’s cheaper to drive your car to France than to have it cleaned. Best of all, the 1980s-style in-your-face racism encountered after the referendum has got me feeling nostalgic.
What a time to be alive: by the Friday after the vote, our PM had resigned, Labour had self-immolated and those ugly twins, racism and xenophobia, had reared their heads on the national stage.
Pertinent, then, to ask why politicians oscillated between pandering to fascism and denying its existence. Why was our former PM willing to divide a country and put its economic future at risk rather than condemning white extremism? Why are commentators on the left post-Brexit conferring the status of victimhood to white fascists? A status never afforded to people of colour crime or not.
How did this all happen, moderate white people? Why did a significant number of your kinfolk think it was a plebiscite to kick out immigrants and to take back our country all the way to the 50s?
Intelligentsia on the Left don’t have answers; they’re busy stocking up on Quinoa before the inevitable food price hikes, so far offering only simple analysis and faulty solutions. Trying to stem the tide of racism with paeans to fascists’ better angels doesn’t work for me. Nor should I, as a minority in the UK who has been constantly dismissed as a victimhood seeker for highlighting racism, be asked to hug a racist xenophobe because they can’t handle Mohammed moving onto their street.
Hugging a Kipper or their even more extreme bedfellows on the right will not make them change course, not after a steady diet of immigrant-bashing by a hostile press. The UK is more toxic than a trapped fart left to fester under a duvet, and not because Trevor the white supremacist wasn’t hugged enough.
Many commentators have written that victims are the problem, not the angry white working class who voted Leave. The usually white middle class commentators go on to suggest the white working class are as marginalised as BAME people and that they’re vilified just like Muslims. They trot out the old, “It’s class warfare, not race, which is the malaise infecting the UK”. So let me break this down like the UK has since Vote Leave won.
Why is the BAME working class airbrushed out of representation and discourse, like the Oscars or a costume period drama on the BBC? Why are BAME only mentioned in relation to the white working class – which only becomes a collective working class when trying to shut down BAME on intersectionality, racism and representation?
Not denying the white working class has been marginalised, but that’s the fault of successive governments, not the fault of foreigners. White working class people in the UK are also not subjected to the same amount of scrutiny, surveillance or sanctions as Muslims and other minorities.
A thriving industry has been set up unchecked by the authorities and political parties to tap into the misguided white working class animus. Can you honestly tell me a bunch of Muslims could invade churches the way Britain First does with Mosques and not immediately get shut down?
This dog whistle racism is further exacerbated by the likes of Julia Hyphenated-Surname and her ilk from the centre right acting as kindling for the xenophobia and racism which has caught alight post-EU referendum, but which any visible Muslim woman would tell you had been smouldering away for a dangerously long time before Thursday’s election result. So the malady is clear, not helped by anti-immigration rhetoric and unchallenged vox pops shown by irresponsible broadcasters.
So should we be making excuses for the rise of extremism in white working class communities and committing acts of terror and hate crimes targeting minorities? We certainly wouldn’t if it was Muslims communities in the UK. David Cameron should have tackled the problem, not emboldened it by giving it a referendum. Now he’s lumbered us with the three Rs: Racism, Recession and waking-up-the-morning-after-in-a-stranger’s-bed-Regrexit.
I don’t want to live under the post-Brexit tyranny of salt and pepper being the only seasoning available for my chicken. So where is Labour, champions of the working class and the party of the progressives? Well, they’re busy failing at being Tory austerity-lite and infighting…lots of pointless infighting.
If Labour had made a coherent case for anti-austerity, then many who voted Leave wouldn’t have been swayed by the rampant xenophobia and racism peddled by Boris and chums. A coherent case would have envisioned a future that pulled vast swathes of the United Kingdom out of the crushing austerity installed by Boris and Gove’s party in the first place. You couldn’t make it up, yet Vote Leave did repeatedly, big lies about immigration and NHS funding.
The electorate rejected facts and instead turned to Michael Gove to lead them, a Dickensian nightmare with the touch of a leper. A tinfoil hat-wearing man occupied with feverish hallucinations of an impending clash of civilisations.
Or they believed Boris the toxic blonde and his red bus of misinformation whilst on the campaign trail bellowing out random words like he might have an impending aneurysm.
Last in the triumvirate, Nigel Farage. A man who failed seven times to get into Parliament, yet who last Friday made a bigger comeback than the bastard Jon Snow, proving once again the public loves an underdog: chain-smoking ex-commodities trader who has made it his life’s work to crash the UK economy because he hates immigration.
All of which leaves me to conclude White people have a predisposition to believe in the illogical; I think it’s in their culture. How else can you explain their insistence on calling almond milk “milk”, or saying the Leave campaign wasn’t racist? It’s also why white people in towns decimated by Thatcherism believe immigrants were simultaneously stealing their low-paid jobs and taking all the expensively priced houses.
But what happens when all the immigrants are gone and your lot does not change? Or when you voted to forcibly remove people who can’t trace their ancestry back to 1066 and there’s still immigration? What if there is no extra 350 million a week for the NHS, or forced repatriation of the curry mile in Brick Lane back to Islamistan?
The fear is that a full British Brexit is too unpalatable to serve up, and we will still be stuck with the same continental fayre but without the promise of any meaningful stop to immigration levels. When Tracy from Basildon finds out she will be fuming.
People are starting to get a sense Boris the blonde dominatrix has been too rough with the UK, putting a gimp mask on them and stomping over facts promising a fantasy which he knew he could not deliver. Which is why post-referendum you saw Johnson trying to mitigate ramifications of the win but sounding as coherent as Iggy Azalea doing a freestyle.
Vote Leave’s hijacked and dangerously unstable revolt of the white working class will turn nasty. Because something nasty has escaped from the woodshed of little England; when they realise they have been betrayed after suckling on the teat of the likes of Nigel Farage and his masticated Nazi propaganda, they won’t turn on Farage the false tribune. For the angry white working class, the logical target is minorities, after all that’s who Farage said was to blame.
Ultimately we are in this perilous state because Cameron, so lacking in charisma that he needs a pig to be dead before fornicating with it, was always going to lose to the buffoonery of Boris. Both led us into an EU referendum because of some sub-Game of Thrones machinations for the post of PM, and now they’ve left the country in a right Eton mess.
Now both have exited the stage and we are left with Theresa May, a woman who has never met an immigrant she didn’t want to deport, or Michael Gove, a low-grade assassin responsible for more blue-on-blue deaths than Viagra in randy old men from the Home Counties.
I’m proud of you UK.
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Raf is a vegetarian Muslim who does current affairs with jokes. Follow him on Twitter @1Rafz
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