by Raf 

The Conservative Party is riddled with racism in the same way coffee shops in Hoxton are swarming with hipsters trying to come up with an ironic name for their start-ups. There is, in my opinion, a racist streak the size of Boris Johnson’s backside running through the party. What it needs is an investigation into its racism. At the same time lets get that scruffy Jeremy Corbyn a tie. The former of course is a more pressing issue.

Sadiq Khan looks about 5ft; he couldn’t fight his way out of a height restriction on a ride at Alton Towers, and probably weighs less than Katie Hopkin’s conscience after a refugee drowns. Yet this didn’t stop the Conservative Party’s racist campaign painting Sadiq Khan as a stealth-Jihadi, who in the words of Theresa May would “make London less safe” as Mayor.

The proof amounted to “he shared a platform with Suliman Ghani who supports IS”. Prime Minster, you shared a platform with a pig numerous times.

Exhibit A:

Cameron pig

Sharing platforms and playing semantics with acronyms doesn’t make the libels true, just like being pictured with a pig does not make you guilty of fornicating with dead pigs; in the case of Suliman Ghani it was libellous. Our PM knew this and it is why, like some Poundland Churchill cowering behind parliamentary privilege, he repeated the accusations about Suliman Ghani in parliament and tried to make a causal link to Sadiq Khan, Al-Baghdadi and some ISIS Whatsapp group chat. In fact yesterday the BBC issued the following apology to Suliaman Ghani…

“During the BBC programme London’s Mayor: the Big Debate on 18 April 2016, presenter Andrew Neil said that Imam Suliman Gani was “a supporter of Islamic State” also known as Daesh.

The BBC wishes to make clear that this statement was not true and that he is not a supporter of IS.” We await news that Cameron has done the same.

It has got to the point where Mayor Sadiq Khan only needs to fart and the Conservative Party would tell anyone who would listen that there is a whiff of Islamism going around City Hall.

In the aftermath of the London Mayoral election, the Tories have tried to pass this off as a misstep and not indicative of wider racism within the party. In reality they’ll be rolling out this base electioneering in future. Xac Goldsmith got over 900,000 votes. It works. Our PM will be head of Project Fear, like a chubby Mayan doomsday predictor with Tourette’s shouting ISIS at every question. If we leave EU ISIS, if we stay ISIS, Trident ISIS, had a defeat in Parliament ISIS, because of ISIS we need to bomb Syria. Look Sadiq Khan is supported by someone who professes admiration for IS; Khan is ISIS.

The charge sheet on Conservative racism is not just levelled towards the PM. (This is the party that kept an MP in Parliament for three years despite them knowing that he had organised a Nazi-themed stag party in 2011.)

It also includes various cabinet members and is supported by an ecosystem of right-wing hacks that see nothing wrong with a little casual anti-Muslim hatred. Conservatives are tapping into the burgeoning anti-Muslim animus prevalent within society. Aided and abetted by the likes of Rod Liddle, an antibiotic-resistant super virulent strain in the body of a roadie who refuses to believe stadium rock is over.

Have the cuts by George Osborne gotten so bad that Michael Fallon is relying on intel reports from Andrew Neil on BBC’s Daily Politics show?

Michael Fallon went on Radio 4 the day after the Mayoral elections and repeated that “Suliman Ghani supports Daesh”. He was forced to retract. Fallon – who is tasked with the defence of the realm, privy to the biggest intelligence network ever assembled, with police, civil servants and PR people at his disposal – saying he repeated the slander because he heard it on TV makes the actual apology worthless, there is no contrition or acknowledgement of wrong doing. Imagine if Fallon watched Jurassic World in high definition and put the United Kingdom on a war footing on the basis that he saw the dinosaurs escape their pen.

Then we have Boris Johnson, hater of ‘watermelon smiles’, presumably positioning himself as a Brexit champion of downtrodden British teeth that look more like neglected tombstones from the bygone age that UKIP hankers for. This is the same Boris Johnson who, while editor of the Spectator, let the odious Taki Theodoracopulos state that Blacks have lower IQs, or more recently used coded racism about President Obama’s Kenyan ancestry as a reason to dismiss his views on the EU referendum.

Now the “It’s not racist” crowd will dismiss this as the cut and thrust of politics. However, we can class those people as the type who after visiting a curry house are forced to vacate their bowels in a violent tsunami of poo and cumin in the general direction of the nearest toilet. Yes, this is coded language for white people are lemon and herb when it comes to anything hotter than salt and pepper. But I am not racist in saying this, white people, because according to Conservative Party logic, a Muslim can only be a terrorist or a terrorist supporter — nothing else.

Just because Zac Goldsmith’s mum, sister and the opinion section of The Spectator don’t think Zac Goldsmith is racist, it doesn’t make his campaign any less racist. Saying “I am not racist” is not an actual defence in the same way being stopped for drinking and driving and saying “I am not drunk” isn’t a defence. The PM knew what he was doing, hence why he only repeated his slander behind parliamentary privilege.

In the end, Londoners could not trust Zac Goldsmith to disseminate the latest threat level for London when the abiding impression he fostered during the campaign was of him struggling to even hold a pint of beer. They voted for the son of a bus driver over the multi-millionaire Quinola botherer from Richmond.

But this is not an enjoiner to rejoice; anti-Muslim attacks have risen by more than 40% in the past year, and increasingly Islamophobia is the most acceptable form of racism in the UK. It behoves the Conservative Party, which forms the government, to pander to the basest of politicking not seen in London since the infamous 1983 by-election.

Many in the Conservative Party have come out to distance themselves from the way Zac Goldsmith campaigned, such as Baroness Warsi and the head of the Conservative Muslim forum. But without an investigation into the Tory party, it’s like taking a big dump on a bed then asking the jilted lover to come back.

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Raf is a vegetarian Muslim who does current affairs with jokes. Follow him on Twitter @1Rafz

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One thought on “We need an inquiry into the Conservative Party’s racism

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